Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
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