your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
