i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
