Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Found your dick twin last night
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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