So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
