We're facebook friends in real life
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
