Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
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