so explain again why im purple
no
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
