Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
