she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
My dick has a subreddit
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
