Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He better not be in your backpack
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
