Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
