I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
