she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
