Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
