If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
