Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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