explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
