how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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