he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
