i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
