Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
