I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
