Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
