He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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