its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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