He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
