theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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