It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
