I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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