Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
