If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
