Your tits are I can't wait for
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
