How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
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