Can i not drive my cunt home
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
