I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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