i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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