If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
