Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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