i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
