omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
