I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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