im drinking this country out of the recession.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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