it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
