So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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