My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm bleeding and have questions
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
