it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
