Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
