You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
