someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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