hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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