It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
